I believe a head coach could fill every hour of every day with time spent "stroking 17 year old egos." Because they are dealing with hundreds of potentials, they have to pick their battles based on likelihood of committing and based on their assessment of the candidates.
If Rees doesn't think Jurkovec will come around, should Kelly insist they play him anyway to make Phil happy?
You appear to be drawing the conclusion that losing Jurkovec and not getting the commitment of two recruits is the fault of the coaching staff and not a decision by the staff for the betterment of the team.