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Mind you, I dont have the knowledge that you wife has, so I was simply lucky to have grabbed it in the right spot.

As I was carrying it back to the side of the road, and as it was suspended by its shell, it bucked hard. I wasn't expecting it -- and I'm still not quite sure how it did it -- but it bucked hard enough to elevate my arms a few inches more into the air and almost cause me to drop it.

After I set him down, he stretched out his legs and neck as far as they could go, then opened his beak up wide, giving me the nastiest "go fuck yourself" look that I've ever seen.

Needless to say, that ingrate better hope I don't have a crowbar on me the next time I see him.