I like "Willingham" out of your options. But the others aren't remotely offensive.
For example, I notice that Obama's going grey now that he's 50. How about "Silverback?"
And while many found it racist that you called him a "chimp," (since many feel that any reference to black people = apes to be just foul), it's much less racist for you to suggest that they all just basically look alike. What's wrong with calling him "Sanford" or "Red?"
Get back on that horse and make me proud, jabster!