I know many non-white families that have had this type of discussion and none of them have described it as painful, awkward, yes, but not painful. I am half white, tactually less than half white and my white parent never shied away from discussion like this. That parent taught me how to interact with police and it was certainly more nuanced then just saying yes sir or ma’am like you generalized. To answer your question directly, it was not painful for me when I talk to my kids about this stuff and I am very blunt about it. But I always try to present both sides of the discussion instead of playing the victim or race card. Also, I don’t really have white peeps except for family, but they have similar discussions with their kids.