UHND.com - Notre Dame Football, Basketball, & Recruiting

What I wanted to utter, but of course, remained silent.

When I hit the coffee shop around 10:00 -10:15, there is usually 0- 3 patrons in line. Today there were 4 patrons in front of me, two of whom were together. Both females. One 10 years older than the other. The older one was a tad heavy, but not fat. Possibly co-workers, possibly friends, possibly lovers.

Ought not one have a good idea of what to order before the barista says “good morning … what would you like?” Not today, I thought we were inside an art gallery studying which $12,000 painting would work best in the foyer. Never mind that three other patrons are waiting behind you, ladies.

After a good 3+ minutes of contemplating their choices, the younger female then communicated her order to the barista, while looking at her partner, with that “do you think I made a good selection?” look on her face.

“Hey lady, we’re in a coffee shop. It’s not a decision about whether to have surgery. … And maybe you should both pass on the muffins.”

And then it came time to pay. “Wow! … shocker … it’s not free.” It took another 30 seconds to retrieve the credit card and then another minute to navigate the screen that merely requires one to tap the card, enter the tip amount and then press “no receipt.”

“Jesus ….do you fuck that slow?”