You can't give freedom to people who don't want it. Freedom has to be earned; it cannot be provided.
You can't nation build among jihadists. You can't give "be nice" seminars on people who think they can honor kill their daughters.
All you can do is kill them in sufficient numbers so that they realize that wanting to kill American children is a very bad idea...which means most of them, not just a lot of them. We didn't kill enough of them.
I hope we learned our lesson, because this war is not over. This war will not be over for another 100 years or so, until they realize that attacking the United States is a bad idea. Don't take a 4 year or even 20 year view of this. Think bigger.
But, the only reason we are outraged now is not because we should have stayed, but because we should have left in a way in which we pulled out non-combatants first, not last. It's a pretty basic concept, actually.
I'm reminded of Reagans words, paraphrased: We can have peace at any time. All we have to do is surrender. But, if you don't want to surrender to evil, then you have to fight until evil surrenders.