“Also, I was unable to find satisfactory evidence to charge Ned with drinking Zima”.
“In fact, after talking to legal counsel, it is not even legal to charge an active uhnd board member with drinking Zima, so I’m wondering what the point of my 2 1/2 year investigation into this was all about in the first place”
“I have thus decided to call this high profile press conference while my boss is in Alaska to give you exactly the same information already available in my report. I also refuse to take your many questions, but this should at least get everyone talking about Ned and his Zima even more because deep down, I just know that if I had a few more years, I might have turned up a can or two”.
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