It is definitely more helpful to me to think that I have free will. I also teach my kids that they have control...they can't control the world, but they can control how they react to what happens in the world. I would be very disappointed to think that I have no free will, and I'm not sure how it would go if I taught my kids their decisions are not really free choices. I like to think I am teaching them to learn how to change course, and take an unpredictable path, to get a good future regardless of what happened in the past...to not be solely a victim of past events.
I had a tragedy in my family. My wife and I were devastated. But there was a moment (and I remember it like it was yesterday) when I turned to her, and said, "We have to decide. Are we going to let this tragedy destroy us?...and maybe even our marriage? Or, are we going to make a conscious choice not to let this event destroy us and our marriage. We need to decide how we are going to handle this." And, it worked. The pain of the tragedy did not go away, but our decision was a turning point for us. We rallied, to a significant degree. It was like bravery in spite of fear, but it was moving forward in spite of tremendous pain. It would not be helpful to me to think that all is causal.
Happily, this is one thing that will never be proven one way or the other...so I think you and I can believe what we want without offending the other.
Great conversation.