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It is difficult to get a full sense of the statute, written as it is, with "strike this" and "add that," such that you don't have the full statute when reading it.

But, at first glance, I see two concepts that are good in principle:
1) It seems to include juvenile records. They never should have been excluded. We need to eliminate our juvenile justice system.
2) It seems to expand the definition of a dealer. They needed a way to make the guy who sells dozens of "personal" firearms every month, but it isn't his primary means of making a living. "Gun sales side hustles" were becoming a thing, and it is a very easy thing to crack down on...they just weren't doing it.

Bottom line though: Urbanites are buying ARs and other guns in record numbers. They have been buying in overwhelming numbers ever since the antifa riots. The cities are going to have to be willing to enforce these laws against their own urban citizens. So far, city prosecutors have shown absolutely no desire to do that. Enforcing these laws just against the "hayseeds" and the suburbanites is not going to solve our gun problems.