I don't know any ND fans really in the world. I don't work with any. None of my friends are ND fans. My connection to ND fans is mostly this board, which I don't participate in all that often. I see a huge difference in how "casual fans," meaning not devoted ND fans, view all this as opposed to those who are invested enough to spend time on the board. Every sports fan I know thought ND's loss to Alabama looked a lot better after Bama spanked OSU. I don't know any who believed ND should be discounted from CFP consideration this year because of big losses in past years. The issue some raised this time around was simply whether Clemson's win in the ACC playoff was so convincing that ND maybe shouldn't get in along with Clemson. Going back to 2018, most people I know agreed with the idea that ND got jobbed in the final poll because voters had likely filled out their brackets except for #1 and #2 before the Clemson - Bama game, and that if they'd waited, ND certainly would have been in the final top 4. Precisely because ND's "blowout" loss to Clemson no longer looked so bad after Clemson kicked the Tide around. So, I don't know what to tell you. Based on my experience, I think people invested in ND, and especially those participating on ND boards, have a skewed perception of ND (one that certainly gets stoked from time to time by pundits for obvious reasons), . . but that "casual fans" don't care that ND lost to Clemson by 27 in 2018 or lost to Alabama by 17 in 2020. Just like non-OSU fans didn't really give a shit about OSU getting blanked by Clemson in 2016 (31-0) in considering OSU as a playoff contender in later years. Moving forward, big losses in 2018, 2020, 2012, for ND won't mean squat to "casual fans" in my opinion, based on my experience. And I doubt it will matter to the playoff committee. But it will be obsessed over by board participants. I predict.
All that said, I get that we have different experiences and I am not being critical of your take based on your experiences. I think we are just in different circles, and that impacts how we each see this.