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My Anti-Perspirant Crapped Out

Author: ImWearingJeanShorts (4761 Posts - Joined: Jul 15, 2008)

Posted at 5:46 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

Okay so this is a strange post I am writing to you all, but it is something I fear I must ask. My anti-perspirant, Old Spice High Endurance, has simply stopped working. I presently have sweat, albeit exceptional-smelling sweat, trickling down my arms as I type. Sometimes the trickle gains so much momentum that it reaches my elbow. You might ask, “how do you allow it to trickle that far you creepy freak? And why must you keep using the word trickle?” Well, when you are typing long-winded posts such as this, you have no time to deal with distractions like sweat and word choice. I need a solution and I need it fast.

Through extensive research on the Google (about 1 minute's worth), I was able to uncover some forum-dwelling trolls experiencing the same confusion, anxiety and pain that I am currently trying to cope with. These creepy but informative nerds revealed that as humans, our sweat glands can become immune to the chemicals in anti-perspirant products that block the sweat and prevent it from trickling down your arm, soaking your shirt and destroying your self-esteem. They recommended that if this catastrophic bodily response should occur, one should step off the ledge, run to the nearest Walgreen’s and try switching anti-perspirants. I have chosen this board to find possible alternatives to the Old Spice High Endurance that has failed me.

Do you use anti-perspirant products other than Old Spice High Endurance? Do you have any OTC (Over-the-Counter…the forum nerds abbreviate quite often and tipped me off to that one) anti-perspirants that have worked for you?

I’d just love to hear some success stories!


TRICKLE!!!!!!!!!!!


Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

Replies to: My Anti-Perspirant Crapped Out


Thread Level: 2

Switch brands regularly. Anti-perspirant is like a drug for your pits--efficacy fades as you use it.

Author: McSweeney (17753 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 9:26 am on Mar 27, 2009
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(no message)

Thread Level: 2

Avoid anti-perspirant like it is the plague.

Author: jabbadoody5 (16656 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 7:39 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

Unless you are a stinky bastard, then wear 2 or 3 different kinds to keep you pits on their toes.

Jumbotrons are for big dick playas!
Thread Level: 2

Unless you want high CNS aluminum levels and early Alzheimers...

Author: Killshot (13040 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 7:18 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

...stay away from antiperspirants. If you sweat excessively, get an anticholinergic. If it smells very bad, you need to exercise more.

Thread Level: 3

Correctomundo, Killshot. Anti-perspirants are POISON.

Author: jakers (9619 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 9:54 am on Mar 27, 2009
View Single

Rules to live by that people ignore all the time - if you couldn't eat it, don't put it on your skin.

And armpits are very, VERY absorbent places on the body that rest directly over a huge conglomerate of lymph nodes.

Aluminum is a nasty thing to take into your body, and over time can lead to all kinds of problems.


Thread Level: 3

Shit. I've been using it for years. Don't I sweat out the bad stuff when I exercise?

Author: conorlarkin (13500 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 9:38 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

What about deoderants?

They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
Thread Level: 4

Some people err on the side of caution. KS errs 12 blocks east of that.

Author: McSweeney (17753 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 9:29 am on Mar 27, 2009
View Single

I'm not sold on the "science" against anti-perspirant, just as I wasn't sold when KS told me that microwaving my vegetables would kill me.

This message has been edited 1 time(s).

Thread Level: 2

Certain-Dri

Author: OCgoldendome (152 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 6:34 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

You will not be physically able to sweat.

Warning: read the directions!

You put it on the night before, and usually one applications last 48-72 hours a day.

I used to use this stuff when I was 14-15 years old and nothing else worked.

I have made this recommendation to two people: 1 person was on the virge of getting surgery to fix his sweaty armipt problem, he now swears by the stuff.

The other got giant scabs under his armpits and curses the stuff, mind you he had red hair and opaque skin.


http://www.certaindri.com/Files/CertainDriSolidBox001.jpg

Thread Level: 2

NASCAR fan?

Author: TakethetrainKnute (22851 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 6:03 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

(no message)

http://www.ssec.wisc.edu/~jayh/images/dtfan.gif

Thread Level: 2

Try Degree...and please don't shake my hand.

Author: MAS (15018 Posts - Original UHND Member)

Posted at 5:56 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

Nothing grosses me out more than you sweat monsters.

Thread Level: 2

It goes under your arms, not in your ass.

Author: TheIrishHammer (10336 Posts - Joined: Oct 31, 2007)

Posted at 5:50 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

(no message)

Thread Level: 3

Clearly you haven't lived yet

Author: ImWearingJeanShorts (4761 Posts - Joined: Jul 15, 2008)

Posted at 6:15 pm on Mar 26, 2009
View Single

(no message)

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
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