“Todaaaay Lady … Christ!”
What I wanted to utter, but of course, remained silent.
When I hit the coffee shop around 10:00 -10:15, there is usually 0- 3 patrons in line. Today there were 4 patrons in front of me, two of whom were together. Both females. One 10 years older than the other. The older one was a tad heavy, but not fat. Possibly co-workers, possibly friends, possibly lovers.
Ought not one have a good idea of what to order before the barista says “good morning … what would you like?” Not today, I thought we were inside an art gallery studying which $12,000 painting would work best in the foyer. Never mind that three other patrons are waiting behind you, ladies.
After a good 3+ minutes of contemplating their choices, the younger female then communicated her order to the barista, while looking at her partner, with that “do you think I made a good selection?” look on her face.
“Hey lady, we’re in a coffee shop. It’s not a decision about whether to have surgery. … And maybe you should both pass on the muffins.”
And then it came time to pay. “Wow! … shocker … it’s not free.” It took another 30 seconds to retrieve the credit card and then another minute to navigate the screen that merely requires one to tap the card, enter the tip amount and then press “no receipt.”
“Jesus ….do you fuck that slow?”
Replies to: “Todaaaay Lady … Christ!”
It's not just coffee shops...
I was in Wisconsin for work, went to a supper club with 4 guys from the customer. We're getting drinks before dinner and the first guy has this complicated custom old fashioned order: brandy, I want you to do some bullshit with the fruit, etc. the next 3 guys all had their own absurd instructions and the bartender is back there working his ass off to do all this. Then he gets to me and I'm like "I'll have a makers mark on the rocks" he said: "Oh Thank God"
I use the Starbuck's app when I travel.
Very convenient, I pick the one on the way to wherever I'm heading, order what I want, park, walk in, grab it, and leave. You can even do drive-thru if you want to wait on the line that's usually there so you don't have to get out of the car, but I don't mind walking in.
Same here. Their points are pretty generous as well
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This became a universal thing once coffee shops were no longer about coffee.
Their product offerings became dozens of other items: Cake Pops, Smoothies, Iced Crapachilla Mocha beverages that take 10 minutes to prepare, Bacon and Egg Turnovers, etc. With a drive-through operation running concurrently. All with essentially the same number of people staffing the place.
You can't fix it other than to avoid them. Honestly, whatever joy you get from the premium coffee they (eventually) provide is fully offset by the time you waste giving them your business. Starbucks took a decade to figure this out. Most others won't until they go out of business.
We find Starbucks drive through does a pretty decent job not only in the area
We live but when we are on vacation as well. Now Dunkin Donuts is another story. Kind of like the difference between a Chick Fil A experience and a Wendy’s experience.
I’ve always said they need a separate line for just coffee
I like what happened once in Curb Your Enthusiasm - Larry said “just give me one of your vanilla bullshit things.”
I would love to be able to just dispense my own Nitro Cold Brew, tap and go.
Standing in line with all of the "vanilla bullshit" happening in front of you is excruciating.
Here's a great clip from an underrated comedian:
Link: Check out this video from this search, youtube coffee whip cream bargatze https://share.google/Kj5ln
I've said the same for years.
Just move the dispensers to that space at the counter with the cups, put a digital credit card kiosk by it and let the customers scoot in and swipe and dispense.
Maybe you should move out to the wilderness where there's no human interaction.
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You are showing us another side of you
Well done. We have all been there. People are morons.
Unlikely that they were Republicans. Your people. Your problem.
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Here's my go to in that sitch, I audibly clear my throat, wait 2 tics then say "bitches move!"
These are the same people who agonize over the JiF vs Skippy peanut butter selection, then aren't read to pay after the clerk scans their giant cart of crap at the grocery store.
No point in saying anything because they will just get flustered and it will delay the process even further.
You are making me want to post about people in airports.
Ugh. Don't get me started.
Don’t do it
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