Round 1: Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren vs. Peter “Mayor Pete” Buttigeig
Warren:
weight = 93 lbs
go to move= Medicare for All
Special abilities: learned how to open a beer bottle on Iowa campaign trail
Weakness: fake cowboys
Buttigeig:
Weight: 109 lbs
Go to move: Reach around, & Gospel quotes
Special abilities: Able to say crazy ass shit in a very sensible voice
Weakness: Has both “Peter” and “Butt” in his name while being first openly gay candidate
Who ya got?