(1) Range finders for golfers who have > 4 handicap.

Of course I have never used one. The yardage markers provide a reasonable guide for distances to the center of the green. No, I do not have a 148 yard club because my golf swing yields 10 different results for 10 different swings. That is, I am not a professional golfer. So, I have a rough idea what club to use for 140-150 yards, depending upon wind and elevation. For the douchebag 14 handicap player, stop pretending exact distance matters. And practice swings are for non hackers.

(2) Fire pits. Cult City type people. “Nothing like a Friday or Saturday night sitting around the fire pit, with my family and friends, drinking bourbon and unwinding from the work week.” Wow! Talk about fookin boring. Devil worshipers. Trump voters.

(3) Country Music. See #2.

(4) Tattoos. No, you are not cool. You are insecure. It is graffiti upon the skin God gave you. Nothing appealing about a tattoo, including otherwise hottie females.

(5) Firearms collections. See #4. The insecure part.