What Urban and Florida did was totally unethical. Florida never asked for permission from Utah to talk with Urban. When Florida fired Zook in October of 2004, they immediately contacted Urban and signed him to a contract that October. But they kept it hush hush, as they planned to announce it after the Utah regular season was over, pretending that they just spoke and signed Urban that December.
However, Notre Dame's firing of Willingham became a fly in the ointment. Urban had constantly made it known in the media that Notre Dame was his dream job and now ND was interested in hiring him. There was no way that Urban and Florida could have Meyer not meet with ND to discuss the ND job - the media would immediately ask how he could refuse to meet with ND to discuss his dream job. Urban and Florida could not let the media start asking questions and find out about the unethical action of both Urban and Florida in discussing/accepting the Florida job in the middle of Utah's season.
So the infamous meeting in December where Father Jenkins, White and other top brass in the administration met with Meyer in Utah. Meyer never intended to accept the job as he already had that signed contract with Florida. So he immediately began making ridiculous demands about allowing numerous exceptions in each recruiting class, demanding that he alone and not the University be allowed to discipline his football players - knowing full well that Notre Dame would walk away. He also made the well-known phone calls to his father, Davie and Holtz asking their opinion on whether he should accept Florida or Notre Dame - another smoke screen, as again, he never intended to accept the ND offer.
When flying back to South Bend from Utah, the Notre Dame contingent spoke among themselves and came to the conclusion that they had been played. Meyer coached at ND and he knew the rules that had to be followed at ND and he had to know that the demands he made would not be agreed to by Notre Dame.
I got this information shortly after this meeting in Utah took place from a couple of people in the ND athletic department who were in a position to know.