Here's how Committee meeting will go on Tuesday

Yurachek: Okay, you all know we can't count Notre Dame's so-called victory against Miami, right? Toney was missing; otherwise, Miami easily wins that game.

Other member: But Notre Dame was without five starters on defense.

Yurachek: Doesn't matter. They had other players that could play.

Other: But can't you say that about Miami?

Yurachek: Obviously not. Anyway, here's my top 12. Ready? 1. Georgia....2. Utah. I'm putting them there only because we need to put up a facade of not being pro-SEC. 3. Indiana....4. Tennessee....5. Alabama....6. Texas....7. UCLA....8. Miami....9. Ole Miss....10. BYU....11. Kentucky....12. Texas Tech.

Other: But where's Notre Dame?

Yurachek: As I said, you can't count their victory.

Other: But if you can't count it, how can you drop Miami?

Yurachek: Because they lost. Just not to a team who can count the win.

Other: How did you move Tennessee ahead of Notre Dame?

Yurachek: Because they beat Alabama and Kentucky.

Other: How are Kentucky and Ole Miss still ahead of Notre Dame?

Yurachek: You can't penalize Ole Miss for losing to Georgia, who's now #1. And Kentucky lost to the now-#4 team so it was an impressive loss. Mighty impressive.

Other: How is BYU still ahead of Notre Dame?

Yurachek: Head-to-head matters.

Other: But if head-to-head matters, shouldn't Notre Dame be ahead of Miami?

Yurachek: I already told you because Toney was out, Notre Dame can't count the win! Are you stupid?

Other: How can you move Texas Tech ahead of Notre Dame?

Yurachek: Scoring 53 points against West Virginia is impressive, mighty impressive. Anyway, ready to rubber-stamp my ranking?

All others: Agree!